We’re best friends.


We both value the simple things and small town living.  We both work from home and put our lives into our kids.

We like good bagels and we make our own challah.  We both loathe hypocrisy.

We both raise our children to be honest and respectful, both to themselves and to others, to contribute to society, to appreciate those around them, to be polite and to work hard.  Our children are proud to be Jews and feel lucky to live in Israel.

She goes to pilates, I use a treadmill at home.

She likes wine, I live near a winery.

She makes the best pies, but I make the best chicken soup.

I live on one side of the Green Line, she lives on the other.

I believe in G-d, she believes in Karma.

Her kids go to Tzofim, mine go to Bnei Akiva.

My kids love the cookies they get at father-child learning Shabbat afternoon in our synagogue.  Her kids love the muffins they get on Shabbat afternoon trips to the beach.

Now play the change-a-part game with the picture of us up there.  Move the hair covering or copy-paste it.  Take about 25 kilos off me.  (No, don’t put it on her, just throw it away – nice if it were so easy, right?)  Have you figured it out yet?  Yep, we’re sisters and like I said, we’re best friends.  We are each other’s pal, sounding board, confidante and therapist.  Our children look forward to time together and truly enjoy each other’s company.

Why do people constantly point out that this relationship is an oddity, when really, it shouldn’t be? 

True, I don’t eat the baking from her kitchen.  I also understand that that is uncomfortable for her.  When Hilary was planning to make aliyah, we had a few pointed and meaningful discussions.  We set priorities.

We all live life by a priority scale.  Some set their own, others simply install the template dictated by society.  On our priority scales, Hilary and I have placed, “Relationship” far above “Eat everything that comes out of each other’s kitchen.”  Setting the levels of priority can take a split second of thought or it can occupy a lifetime.  We make it work, even when it gets frustrating.  When we’re in town and I’m combing the shops to find a kosher certification that I’m okay with, knowing that she doesn’t care and just wants her coffee NOW, I get it.  Since she gets me too, we collectively swallow the aggravation, turn on a little extra patience and get on with it.

“Is it worth it?” isn’t even a relevant question.  Not visiting each other on Saturdays, the food issue, the peculiar looks out families might get when visiting each other’s neighborhoods… so what?  Those are issues not even on the scale.  Sure, our children ask us interesting questions about “the flip side”.  My son once asked her if she “ate the pig” and she was cool with that and came up with a very fair, nonjudgmental answer.  We send our children to each other’s homes for sleepovers, only mine come with food included.  When hers are visiting us, they hang out at the Shabbat learning sessions and get their treats, along with all the other kids.  It’s all cool.

We applaud their learning about priorities and values from a very early age.  Take one look at these smiles and know how much it really is worth it.      

aviela2 aviela3

Aviela Deitch is a multi-tasking, public-speaking, work-at-home mother of six decently-adjusted, mostly happy children. A life-long Wisconsinite, Aviela lives in Migron with her British husband, Israeli kids and Peruvian guinea pigs            


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